Tap Room Opens Sunday

UPDATE: See our Taproom page for all the latest and greatest info!

Super quick update because we are busy as hell right now.

Taproom officially opens this Sunday, April 9 2017 at noon. Quick notes:

We do not have food. Some day we would like to, but we're going to start slowly and stick with beer only for now. 

We will only be serving our beer. No wine, no spirits, no one else's beer. This is a state licensing issue. Someday we might offer these things but for now we hope you enjoy all of the different beers that we brew for you. 

Our sound system currently is a crappy little Bluetooth speaker. We will have a proper sound system set up in the near future. 

For the foreseeable future we will be credit/debit card only. This is simply because we do not want to deal with cash right now.  

We are set up to accept Apple Pay and Android pay. 

We do not have a sign yet. All we will have is a crappy laminated one on the front door for now. Baby steps. 

We will have growlers in the next couple of weeks. I forgot to order them. I am dumb.

Well behaved children are welcome. That means mine are not. 

We are not yet pet friendly. That may come shortly but not yet.

You can order food to be delivered to the tap room. We do not yet have plates and forks. Again something I forgot to get in time. 

Please be patient with us. We have to learn a whole lot of stuff to get this thing running smoothly. 

Can't wait to show you all the hard work we've done.  








Alarmist Brewing Announces Strategic Russian Partnership

Yumus Sukmakockov, the 4th generation CEO of Russia's Sukmakockov Brewing

Yumus Sukmakockov, the 4th generation CEO of Russia's Sukmakockov Brewing



Strategic Partnership Opens Up New Export Opportunities For Chicago's 82nd Largest Brewery, At Least That's What They Told Us.

Chicago, Il – April 1, 2017 – Alarmist Brewing today announced a massive strategic investment from Russia's Sukmakockov Brewing. This investment follows months of negotiations from both companies and will allow one of the breweries unprecedented access to new markets, opportunities, and Presidential campaigns. 

"We see a real opportunity here, " says Gary Gulley, Founder/Chief Alarmist of Alarmist Brewing, "With Russia's new intense interest in all things American including smart phones, movies, music, and US Presidents, we felt this would be a great time to develop strategic synergies and value added propositions." Gary added, "They haven't told us how much they're investing, but we trust them 100%!"

Yumus Sukmakockov, the 4th generation CEO of the brewery which bears his family name said, "We feel Alarmist Brewing will do much to bring legitimacy to business which is in no way 25% secretly owned by President Vladimir Putin."

Yumus' son, Ivantyuto, added, "American craft beer is very popular with my country's oligarchs such as ourselves. And like father said, we are no way associated with Vladimir Putin. You must trust us on this."

Alarmist Brewing's Aaron Dahl, Head Brewer said, "I'm just excited to be able to access my email without paying ransomeware. As soon as the deal was signed, my email account just worked perfectly! These guys are really looking out for us and our brand!"

With the new capital infusion, Alarmist will purchase new fermenters, process equipment, security cameras, and hidden microphones. 


Founded in 2015, Alarmist Brewing is a Chicago based craft brewery with a focus on quality beer and half baked business partnership ideas. 


Founded in 1873, Sukmakockov Brewing largest brewery in all of Russia. Sukmakockov is in no way owned, controlled, or any way associated with the great President Vladimir Putin.

Another Tap Room Update!

Fire shutter installation completed! Long story.

Man, you would not believe how many people email or message me about the tap room. It's great! The question most asked is: "When will you be open?" The 2nd most asked is: "Will you serve food?". The 3rd most asked is: "Did you forget about the restraining order?"

First answer: I don't know. Depends on when construction is finished (more on that in a sec) and when the inspections get completed. We need a Chicago building inspection for all the construction. Only after we have that can we schedule the liquor license inspection. So that's two, count 'em, two inspections we have to have. And it takes time to get them in and to get the results and to have them come back if something needs to be fixed. 

Second answer: No food yet. However you will be able to have food delivered and we will schedule food trucks to come by. 

Third answer: Yes, but I just want you to like me.

Now construction update: we are about 2 weeks away from final construction tasks! In that time, however, we have a lot to get done ourselves so that the construction can be completed. We're working on it vigilantly. 

Here's a checklist of the major components that need to be completed and their status:

  • Bathroom fixtures install. This should happen next week. Tiling will be done tomorrow.
  • Walk in cooler install. This is scheduled within the next week. This is the cooler in the basement from which we will serve the beer from kegs.
  • Window install. The big window to allow tap room patrons to see the brewery. Should be installed in the next week or so.
  • Lighting installation. Electricians have about 3 days of work to do for general lighting, outlets, and other minor things. In the next two weeks (as soon as walk in cooler is ready so they can connect electrical).
  • Draft system install. We have this scheduled in the calendar but we want to move it up sooner as along as we can get some stuff done (painting the large wall behind the bar, finishing the back bar cabinet construction).
  • Get bar stools, chairs, tables, and stripper pole.
  • Get ice maker, dishwasher for behind bar. 

Safe to say the next couple of weeks will be busy as hell!