FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ALARMIST BREWING ANNOUNCES MASSIVE INVESTMENT FROM RUSSIA'S LARGEST BREWERY
Strategic Partnership Opens Up New Export Opportunities For Chicago's 82nd Largest Brewery, At Least That's What They Told Us.
Chicago, Il – April 1, 2017 – Alarmist Brewing today announced a massive strategic investment from Russia's Sukmakockov Brewing. This investment follows months of negotiations from both companies and will allow one of the breweries unprecedented access to new markets, opportunities, and Presidential campaigns.
"We see a real opportunity here, " says Gary Gulley, Founder/Chief Alarmist of Alarmist Brewing, "With Russia's new intense interest in all things American including smart phones, movies, music, and US Presidents, we felt this would be a great time to develop strategic synergies and value added propositions." Gary added, "They haven't told us how much they're investing, but we trust them 100%!"
Yumus Sukmakockov, the 4th generation CEO of the brewery which bears his family name said, "We feel Alarmist Brewing will do much to bring legitimacy to business which is in no way 25% secretly owned by President Vladimir Putin."
Yumus' son, Ivantyuto, added, "American craft beer is very popular with my country's oligarchs such as ourselves. And like father said, we are no way associated with Vladimir Putin. You must trust us on this."
Alarmist Brewing's Aaron Dahl, Head Brewer said, "I'm just excited to be able to access my email without paying ransomeware. As soon as the deal was signed, my email account just worked perfectly! These guys are really looking out for us and our brand!"
With the new capital infusion, Alarmist will purchase new fermenters, process equipment, security cameras, and hidden microphones.
ABOUT ALARMIST BREWING
Founded in 2015, Alarmist Brewing is a Chicago based craft brewery with a focus on quality beer and half baked business partnership ideas.
ABOUT SUKMAKOCKOV BREWING
Founded in 1873, Sukmakockov Brewing largest brewery in all of Russia. Sukmakockov is in no way owned, controlled, or any way associated with the great President Vladimir Putin.